Reviewer: Armored Werewolf
Oh no. Anything but this! I already talked about the entire My Little Pony series and A Very Minty Christmas, what more is there? Well, one thing left actually. In my My Little Pony review, I briefly talked about Newborn Cuties, the last and worst part of the already terrible Generation 3. Well, I will be talking about the second (and final) episode of Newborn Cuties called Over Two Rainbows. And before you ask, no I will not be doing So Many Different Ways to Play, unless I can find something unique to say about it.
The intro is the exact same as So Many Ways to Play, except the pony in the end isn't blinking like she's having a seizure (yes that actually happens in the first episode). "I remember the first day Sweetie Belle first came to Ponyville." Generation 4 fans, don't get your hopes too high, it isn't what you think. So Rainbow Dash is having a "fashion show party" (I wish I was joking). Pinkie and Cheerliee have cameras and begin to take pictures of Rainbow to what sounds like 16-bit music.
"Be sure to get my good side." I was going to do a "that's what she said" joke, but my brain cells are already incinerated to the point where I can't do a joke. "Never mind they're both good, and don't forget the scarf." Okay, if the cameras are in front of you (which they are), the scarf will obviously be in the shot, unless the cameraperson is drunk. By the way, if you were unfortunate enough to see this, you may know the characters' lips don't even move the whole time. A sudden storm approaches and a sound that sounded like a message notification goes off. Thunderstorms begin which causes the screen to flash pink. The flashing happens so fast that I honestly felt a little bit of eyestrain.
Repeating footage is a trend in generation 3, and they repeated the same storm footage. First the thunderstorm, then the high wind blowing a tree. A tree that nearly falls over and the swing attached having a seizure. The storm ends in almost less than a minute and the scarf is in a puddle of mud. We go from a yard that's literally nothing but grass to what looks like a nuke went off. Seriously, there was only thunder and wind during that storm, no rain. And for god's sake, why is there TWO rainbows when again, no rain. The two rainbows touch, and a pink cloud holding a baby pony inside appears. So what, do rainbows get pregnant and summon a demon? What drug addicts came up with this? Am I really seeing this? This makes King Star King and 12 Oz. Mouse look normal.
The cloud hits the mud puddle and Sweetie Belle appears. For some ungodly reason, she looks the same age as the other characters. Did all of this take place during the same day the others were born? "Ah, is that a dragon, maybe a fairy-eating dragon?" Do I even need to say anything? Apparently if something looks like you only with different colors and a horn, it means it is some kind of dragon.
"Excuse me, pardon me, I must get my super fantastical fantabulous scarf, it's super sweet you know," By this time, I forgot fantastical and fantabulous were even words. Sweetie Belle uses magic to summon flowers..because she can. Rainbow stares at Sweetie Belle and we get an interesting shot (I will post the picture soon). "Rainbow," Well, first words. Sweetie then levitates Rainbow and drops her into the mud. No sound effects. "Oh no, can this day get any worse?" Jinx.
Just kidding, Sweetie cleans up the scarf and the fashion show happens again. Repeating footage? Nope. For once they remade the scene with different pictures and Sweetie Belle with Rainbow. We get fireworks (again no sound effects), and Sweetie Belle burps. The outro is literally the intro but going in reverse. About as lazy as the ride back home from A Very Minty Christmas. But in that scene, it's literally mirrored, here they just rewinded the intro.
...WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA? Now if you excuse me, I will be right back. I need to call a priest to get this...thing out of my house.